Hospice nurse, Hadley Vlahos, shares her journey into the realm many in our culture would much rather avoid-- dying. Just as nurses are granted the honorable opportunity to be present to people entering this world, hospice nurses are invited to bear witness and support humans in our transition out of this earthly journey. And, just like life, no two journeys are the same.
Disguising names and removing identifying factors that would breach the confidentiality we nurses are held to uphold, Vlahos shares the stories of twelve patients she helped transition to the afterlife. The heart-wrenching moments may require tissues, I know I needed a few, as patients and their loved ones struggle to let go, attend to the pain and suffering, but ultimately reach the point of taking their final breath.
At the same time, the stories are filled with hope, compassion, deep love, and commitment, as well as peace and joy. Every dying patient is greeted by someone they knew previously who already crossed over. Reading how the patients reunited with departed loved ones in the final days of life, was something I found validating from my own personal and professional experiences, as well as comforting as a human destined for the same fate.
Weaved into the patient accounts Vlahos openly and vulnerably tells her personal story as a young woman who became pregnant at the age of 19 and became a nurse to support herself and her son. Nursing is not an easy profession by any means. It requires fortitude in mind, body, and spirit. It requires intelligence and navigating the fine line between being sympathetic and empathetic, something Vlahos describes. This noble profession is not as well-supported as the public would probably like to believe. Short staffing, poor compensation, and lack of resources are a constant that nurses also have to battle. I hope that those who read this take note of this and advocate for safe staffing and fair compensation for the healthcare staff who serve them.
While Vlahos's young, fresh voice is a breath of fresh air to dying and those who care for them, she may have given more tribute and recognition to the many nurses who paved the way before her. At times she expressed gratitude to those who shared wisdom and support, there were other times when her tone felt disrespectful of those who have been attending to patients for years under circumstances much harsher than what Vlahos has experienced thus far. Although some of her frustrations were valid, it would have been nice to see her offer some of the grace and compassion to her co-workers that she offered her patients. Perhaps that will come with time and more experience.
The In-Between is a poignant exploration of the transition between life and death, offering solace and understanding to those grappling with the loss of loved ones. It suggests that the end of life need not be a journey taken in solitude but can be a passage accompanied by care and compassion. The narrative provides a gentle reminder that kindness and empathy are invaluable, especially in our final moments. This book may be a source of comfort for many, affirming the presence of benevolence even in the most challenging times. It's a testament to the human spirit's capacity for love and support, extending beyond the confines of our physical existence.
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